November 2021 - Headgym

Month: November 2021

Stoicism

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The Power of Stoicism

How to gain control of your emotions and change your life for the better.

What is Stoicism

Stoicism is an ancient way of life and philosophy for focusing on what is in your control and preventing what isn’t from affecting you. It also teaches you to practise gratitude and to accept all that comes your way however bad it might seem. Three of the most impactful stoics were Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca, influencing many people, including Nelson Mandela. 

Control

“Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our actions.” – Epictetus

When it rains it is unexpected and typically an unwanted or bad thing for most people, especially if we get caught in it. However, we don’t get emotional or start crying when it rains because we have learnt to expect it, that it is unavoidable and that it won’t last forever. This same logic can be applied to almost any bad situation.

The key is strengthening what we can control, that being our response to situations, which takes time and practice. Between stimulus and response, there is a space where we can pause and choose our response. 

There are many ways of practising and improving your control over emotions and reactions one of which is negative visualisation.

“Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness – all of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil.” – Marcus Aurelius

This does not mean to give up or not try because things may be difficult but to expect difficulties so that when they come we are prepared and feel more of a sense of control and understanding around the situation. This also means when positive things occur they are much more apparent and can be appreciated naturally. Gratitude is a key aspect of stoicism acknowledging and appreciating all the small details. 

It is important not to misunderstand negative visualisation and see it as life is bad, but to expect difficulties so that you can better deal with them and there possibly even come a time where they don’t seem like difficulties anymore.

Take it step by step

We know what it is we need to do the problem is doing it.

“You could be good today. But instead, you choose tomorrow.” – Marcus Aurelius

We often have the information and know what we need to do whether it’s losing weight, being productive, eating healthy. We know how to do it, the problem is we don’t act.  Stoicism focuses on the action it is not what you say or what you think but the action. It is important just to take that first step and that small action and day by day you can build it up but you have to act and not just think or say

Discard your anxiety

“Today I escaped anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions — not outside.” – Marcus Aurelius

An important step is to recognise your anxiety is not an external force outside of your control. It is not something that is inevitably caused by certain situations. It is a feeling inside you that you can control along with all other emotions and feelings through practice and persistence. It does not come overnight but the more you remind yourself that you don’t have to let this affect you and that you are in control whenever these feelings crop up the stronger your control will become. Recognise that you are not anxious because of the situation but because that’s a response you have developed for the situation that can be changed.

How to deal with people

“Be strict with yourself and tolerant with others” – Marcus Aurelius

The purpose of these practises is for yourself you can not set these standards for other people. You have to leave everyone else and their mistakes out of it and not expect from them what you expect from yourself.

Do not resent others, people will present obstacles for you that might currently affect you whether you get annoyed or retaliate. Stoicism teaches you to see this as an obstacle you can overcome and be good despite other people and whatever they might present. People are a challenge you can rise to overcome and use to become a better person while gaining control over your emotions and temperament. We can’t control what happens but we can control how we respond.

Conclusion

The benefits of stoicism will not come overnight but they are things to remind yourself of when things get tough. The more you remind yourself and try to practise it the more efficient you will become at it. Try telling yourself certain mantras each day or whenever you’re faced with a difficult situation.

  • Control what you can control, don’t let what you can’t bring you down.
  • It is not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters.
  • Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself
  • Waste no more time contemplating what a good person should be and be one.
  • Accept whatever comes your way whether good or bad and embrace it.

         “Don’t be overheard complaining not even to yourself” – Marcus Aurelius

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Journaling

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The Benefits of Journaling

Exploring the power of writing our thoughts down.

Introduction

Journaling has been a constructive habit for hundreds of years evident by Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations. The book Meditations was not intended to be published and displayed the many benefits of converting our thoughts into words. It provides incredible insight into stoicism and invaluable ways of thinking that still prove useful today.

Life Lessons

Nothing compares to the teachings of our own personal experiences. Journaling allows us to keep track of our lives and see exactly where things go right or wrong. This allows us to review our life and learn important lessons for moving forwards. There are many situations that we may forget or are often hidden in the subconscious that may be a pivotal point in the change of our feelings or how we act. When we put our life and feelings into words we can review this journal when things are rough and see where we are going wrong and what to change to improve it.

Bringing out the Subconscious

A large part of our feelings and actions are determined by our subconscious mind. These subconscious thoughts go unacknowledged and remain in the dark often coming out in a negative or destructive way. By journaling, we illuminate our subconscious revealing our deepest insecurities and feelings confronting them so we can move forward and deal with them constructively. 

Accountability

Keeping a journal each day alone is an act of discipline which can often progress into other habits or aspects of your life. Not only this but by keeping a journal, you are holding yourself accountable when trying to stick to habits. We often give up on habits such as working out or learning a new language because it seems like a lot of work for seemingly little progression. If we look back at our journal we can acknowledge every small step and improvement providing inspiration and motivation to keep going.

Reducing Anxiety

Life can often be chaotic which can lead to a sense of being overwhelmed or overthinking. By journaling, you are taking these thoughts and feelings and putting them into order through writing. This allows for a sense of control as well as a clear view of your thoughts and situation so you can tackle it productively rather than spiralling into a pattern of anxiety and overthinking. Studies have also shown that it breaks down emotional blockages so we don’t have to hold on to panicked or stressful thoughts which can impact us throughout the whole day.

How to journal

While journaling is an incredibly helpful tool for putting our life and thoughts into order it can also have negative effects when done wrong. If you are journaling, holding onto the past and focusing on the pain it will only promote negativity. It must be done constructively so while being raw and honest with your emotions you have to focus on solutions and moving forwards. A good way to journal is to write down emotions throughout the day, along with any general experiences. Keep track of positive things you have done as well as areas you can improve but do not focus on the negatives instead use them as a clear indication of where to improve.

Procrastination

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Procrastination

Why do you procrastinate and how can you overcome it?

Procrastination

Often procrastination is caused by our lack of focus and abundance of distractions. I have compiled five ways on how to combat procrastination and do what is most important for your life and future.

 

Eat the frog

A quote from Mark Twain – “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.”

The message behind this quote is that if you have a difficult task, you should get it done first and as early as possible. When you get the biggest task done first you will feel more at ease and it won’t be looming over you throughout the day. You will find it much more difficult to unwind with this seemingly huge task that needs doing still in the back of your mind. And the more you postpone it the more it will add up. If you don’t eat the frog today you will have to eat two tomorrow.

The 3 2 1 Method

This task may seem stupid or seemingly “too easy” however it can work in many instances and provide a small boost to get you going. 

First, think about the task you need to do then count down from 3 2 1 in your head and at the end do the task.

This builds up a psychological momentum towards the task and acts as the first step. It can prove useful, as counting from 3 2 1 in your head is much easier than getting up and doing the task as an alternative first step.

Just do something

Many people believe that in order to act or work we need motivation. In reality, we often need to act in order to gain motivation. If motivation and inspiration are difficult to come by it may be much easier just to start with action. It doesn’t have to be a huge task or something long and tedious but just doing something can offer momentum and motivation for a task you have been putting off. It could be a habit you already have such as brushing your teeth or making your bed. Action creates motivation and motivation inspires more action. If we start to slack or become lazy we can not expect a burst of motivation to rescue us and instead should just try and do something as small as it might be.

Change your enviroment

Your environment is a huge factor contributing to your habits and mentality. If your surroundings are chaotic and messy your lifestyle and mind are likely to follow suit. It is much easier to change your physical environment than it is to try and work through it. Make sure your surroundings are conducive to the work that you need to complete. For tasks such as writing or essays, a state of deep focus is required without distraction so anything out on your desk or around you can act as a distraction and disrupt your state of focus as well as wasting time. Your phone is one of the biggest distractions which can lead to you checking just one notification and before you know it you’ve spent 20 minutes scrolling through social media. When working put your phone on silent and out of sight until you’re done.

Time Blocks

Using time blocks can be very useful when improving your productivity and focus. Focus is the same as any muscle you must train it in order to make it stronger. A way to do this is by removing distractions from your workspace and setting a timer to work and do nothing else. You can’t allow you’re self to get distracted and must stay focused until the timer goes off. This time could be anywhere from 10-30 minutes to start with, if your focus isn’t too good start with the lower amount of time. Do this each day and when it becomes seemingly easy to do add 10 minutes. Repeating this will train your focus and allow you to work productively for longer. The maximum time anyone can focus for is 90 minutes so you could set that as your target.