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Flow State

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The Flow State

What is the flow state and how can we use it?

What is the flow state

The flow state is a state of consciousness where we are fully immersed in an activity.  You may have experienced this before during sports, playing an instrument, working, studying, or even during activities such as playing video games. 

When in a flow state we experience a feeling of awareness and total focus on the activity. This immersion allows for peak performance and is a pleasant experience comparable to that of meditation. 

The experience of flow includes:

  • Loss of ego (sense of self)
  • Merging of action and awareness
  • Intrinsic satisfaction and fulfilment
  • Intense presence
  • Increased sense of agency
  • Increased capability for learning

 

How do you enter the flow state?

As the flow state is a state, it cannot be entered at will. Similar to sleep you can not choose to just sleep as an action, but can create the best conditions for it and increase the likelihood of it happening to you. 

One of these conditions is a healthy amount of stress often referred to as eustress. This is a healthy balance of stress that is not overwhelming but is seen as beneficial to staying focused on the task at hand. To achieve this level of stress, the task or activity must be not too easy leading to boredom but not too difficult as to overwhelm you. It is usually most beneficial to have the activity or task slightly exceeding your skill level.

If you have a set task and find it under or overwhelming you can mentally or literally adjust it to achieve a healthy level of stress and therefore focus. 

For example, if a task is too overwhelming you can take a step back gain emotional stability and break it down. The task as a whole may be overwhelming but when broken down into parts may be more manageable.

If a task is too boring you can likewise adjust it to make it more difficult, you can literally or mentally reframe it. For example, if you are studying, think of a situation where the learnings apply in the real world, or imagine you have to give a lecture on the subject.

It is also notable that the chances of entering the flow state differ based on the time of day. For the majority of people during the mornings after waking up or later on in the evenings, we are most likely to enter the flow state. This is likely due to the higher dopamine spike during the day and your mind being much clearer in the early morning and late night.

What to avoid?

While there are conditions that encourage the chance of entering the flow state there are also conditions that hinder it.

This mainly includes distractions, if you have a phone nearby that is buzzing or people talking to you constantly it will make it extremely difficult to enter or remain in a flow state. Perhaps put your phone out of your way and limit any distractions to your senses. The main critical trigger to the flow state is a complete and total focus on your task or activity, therefore anything gaining the attention of your senses will divert this focus.

Self-reflection

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The importance of Self-reflection and values

A look into the benefits of Self-reflection and our internal values.

Who are you?

Unfortunately, in today’s world, it is not uncommon to live on autopilot. We are so absorbed in the external world that we rarely look within. 

This is not just referring to where we place our attention but also the self we present to the outside world. Think about when you are alone, do you act and present yourself the same as when you are socialising? We each present a self different to who we feel at the core with different values and desires. Sometimes this becomes blurred especially when we neglect our deep internal values and desires.

Our lives can become driven by societal expectations or values that we often take on unconsciously, mistaking them for our own, later to find they bring no fulfilment. This is not to say one is right or wrong or holds no value but the goal is to be who you are wholly. The goal is not perfection but to become your whole true self.

How do my values affect me?

Values affect so many aspects of our lives and most of the time we don’t even realise it. For example, if we value security in life any room we go in we are likely to know where each door or exit is without intention. 

This is not because of a conscious decision but a learned value or belief paired with emotion, often repressed, that subconsciously affects almost every action in some way. There may be many actions that you took seemingly instinctively that are rooted in a subconscious value or belief.

How do I Self-reflect?

Internal work is by no means easy and for many it’s preferable to never face it at all. It requires immense courage and a willingness to not conform. Only you can understand yourself so it is a journey that is completely alone. Many people avoid this journey and adopt societal values as their own often leading to events such as a “mid-life crisis”. 

“Conformity is the great destroyer of selfhood — in our society in which fitting the “pattern” tends to be accepted as the norm, and being “well liked” is the alleged ticket to salvation—what needs to be emphasized is not only the admitted fact that we are to some extent created by each other but also our capacity to experience, and create, ourselves.” – Rollo May, Man’s Search for Himself

As this journey is unique to each individual there is no set of instructions that can be followed. However, there are many insights that may prove useful throughout the everlasting process. 

First of all you must be willing to accept, understand, and feel anything previously rejected. Many people in todays society, more commonly men, are unwilling to face pain, sorrow, sadness etc. We go to great lengths in order to avoid acknowledging or facing these things. Rejecting or ignoring these emotions or deep feelings does not make them disappear. Instead they go to lie with everything else in the subconscious manifesting in forms of anxiety, addiction, depression, negative behaviour etc. Although it may not seem it facing these emotions is the solution and accepting them will prove immensely constructive in self-development.

”Embrace your grief for there, your soul will grow” – Carl Jung

Some emotions may be so deeply buried that you are completely unaware of them altogether. In this case you can learn to discover them through meditation, therapy, journaling etc. This can also be done by paying attention to yourself in daily life and reflecting. When you lash out or get annoyed at someone, is the emotion evoked seemingly without your conscious effort triggering some kind of subconscious insecurity? It may be just but there may be a deeper possible cause. 

It is important to accept and understand these subconscious beliefs and emotions and there are healthy ways of bringing them into reality or expressing them. This can include all sorts of creative work such as painting, writing, music, and so on. By doing this we enrich our lives making the unconscious previously repressed parts of ourselves conscious and ourselves “whole”.

Whether we like it or not we have the subconscious as a constant inner companion and anyone who can take the time to look within and give some attention to it will see profound results.

Cambodia

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Cambodia

A brief follow up on Headgyms work in Cambodia

What we did

In August this year, Headgym began a teacher training workshop in Cambodia where we helped educate teachers on mental health.

This involved teaching many concepts such as:

  • Growth Mindset
  • Confidence Building
  • Developing aspirations
  • Building mental resilience
  • Solution focused thinking
  • Goal Setting
  • Positive mindset
  • NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming)
  • Personal Development

And much more.

Our hope is that by helping teachers understand these concepts they can pass it on to the children and therefore change lives through education and understanding.

Why We did it

Our work was done in Battambang, Cambodia in some of the most impoverished rural areas. These are places where the odds are unfortunately stacked against children in most ways you can imagine. They face issues such as poverty, disease, a lack of education and much more. 

Our goal is to have a positive impact in changing this through education. One of the largest problems they face is not only the extremely limited options they have but also that they are often not aware they have options to begin with. 

We are showing them how to understand and use their minds to change their lives for the better. How to remain persistent in the face of adversity and overcome it whether the problem is mental or in the real world.

By teaching the teachers these concepts we hope to reach a wider range of children. So far we have taught 50 teachers within 2 schools who have a reach of hundreds of children to give them the education they need.

Reception and Feedback

The feedback from teachers at our workshops has been overwhelmingly positive. 

Teachers were able to understand and apply their learning while teaching children almost immediately. Not only this but they also showed a visible difference in their own well-being and mental health.

Many teachers were happy to share examples of how they benefited and implemented their learnings already.

We plan to continue with these workshops and there is a future workshop and review planned for November 2023.

How you can help

If anyone would like to help in supporting our work in Cambodia, you can do so by clicking the button below. We greatly appreciate any support and will do our best to achieve our goal.

DONATE HERE

The Shadow

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The Shadow

A brief dive into Psychiatrist and Psychoanalyst Carl Jung’s understanding of the subconscious aspects of the self.

What is the shadow

We each have a subconscious with many qualities often referred to as “The Shadow”. These are parts of our identity that we repress, including some qualities that we may even be completely unaware of altogether. The qualities are usually something we hide from perceiving them as “weak, socially unacceptable, bad etc.”.

“The thing a person has no wish to be” – Carl Jung

Is the shadow harmful?

The issue is that just because we are unaware of these qualities does not mean they are not active, more often than not we each display in our actions, emotions and conclusions, many qualities of our “Shadows”. It can manifest in harmful ways in the form of negative social interactions, fears, insecurities, resentments, self-limitation etc.

Some negative traits or outbursts we never put thought or reasoning behind usually come from a deep self-identity or conclusion within our subconscious. Due to ourselves being unaware of our shadow, it is much more likely to be at play as we are not even aware when it is active.

How should we deal with the shadow?

Dealing with the shadow is not about getting rid of it or repressing it but instead accepting, integrating and becoming aware of it.

“The shadow becomes hostile only when it is ignored or misunderstood” – Marie-Louise von Franz

Carl Jung believes that developing awareness of the shadow and its projections within an individual’s life is critical. This is by no means an easy thing to do and often takes hard work and time. 

There are many ways of doing this most notably being, Psychotherapy, Introspective Journaling, Dream interpretation, Meditation etc. Through these you can start to understand the parts of yourself hidden away by observing actions, emotions and thought processes in daily life with total honesty recognising where they come from.

Acceptance is an important aspect as you are not aiming for perfection but wholeness of personality and awareness. You cannot deny or repress feelings but instead, the awareness and acceptance of them will allow you to recognise them in life so that they are not acting as a destructive surprise to you. You are also then able to deal with them in a more healthy way.

“There is no light without shadow and no psychic wholeness without imperfection” – C.J

While the shadow is generally considered negative, once awareness is brought towards it, it can display good qualities such as creativity, understanding, control of instincts, realistic insights, stability etc. It contains within it potential and source for development if recognised and aware of.

Many parts of your shadow you will outgrow once aware of and process them changing conclusions and identities often to more healthy identities and conclusions.

“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. If an inferiority is conscious, one always has the chance to correct it. But if it is repressed and isolated from consciousness, it is unable to be corrected and is liable to burst forth suddenly in a moment of unawareness. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions”     – Carl Jung     (C.W Vol. 11 Psychology and Religion: West and East)

Fundraising For Cambodia

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Fundraising for Cambodia

What we are doing

At HeadGym we are currently raising funds to provide comprehensive mental health training to Teachers and Children in some of Cambodia’s most underprivileged regions. With your help, we hope to make a lasting impact on children’s lives for years to come.

Why it's important we help

Some of the issues affecting these regions include HIV, Trafficking, Abuse, Abandonment, malnutrition and more. There is also no development in mental health to help tackle these problems as there are not yet words for things like anxiety or depression. Without the understanding and resources they need these problems can affect children throughout their adult lives unless addressed. 

These mental health issues negatively impact many aspects of life such as academia, career, behaviour, social interactions, and general well-being. All of this also leads to a vicious poverty trap and therefore repeats the cycle for future generations.

Our Plan

This is where we want to make a difference. We strongly believe this cycle can be broken and with the right resources and understanding these children can flourish, overcoming current mental health issues and excel current expectations.

We plan to equip 400 Teachers, that work with over 10,000 children, with the right understanding, skills and resources to give every child the best help possible. 

This will include early intervention strategies, a growth mindset, solution-focused approaches, safe inclusive classrooms, and a in-depth understanding of mental health.

Not only will the issue of mental health be tackled, but in turn the chances of escaping poverty will be drastically increased as they will now be equipped with the resources and mindset to defy the odds and tackle problems they previously could not.

Where the money is spent

The money raised will be used for materials, workshops, translators, and other resources. We hope with your help we can make a difference in the quality of these children’s lives and their futures too.

Donate Here

Limiting Technology

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Limiting Technology

How much technology is too much? and how do I limit my use?

What's wrong with technology?

In today’s society, technology has become nearly a necessity. It’s almost impossible to function without some form of modern technology, such as a smartphone. While this adds convenience and various advancements to our lives, it can also give rise to problems.

Some of these issues, as mentioned in the previous blog, include a lack of connection with our internal selves. This problem can manifest in various symptoms or mental health issues. By reconnecting with your internal self, you take a significant step forward in regaining control.

Many of us are unknowingly addicted to technology. When we attempt to go without it, our minds will try to persuade us to use it, with thoughts like “I need to look up a recipe” or “What if there’s an emergency and someone is calling?”

For most people with a 9-5 job, including commuting, additional errands, and time for exercise or other activities, there’s around 30-60 hours of free time per week. If you frequently find yourself saying “I don’t have time,” it might not be the case.

For many of us, it feels like we have no time at all, as we are constantly busy and overworked. A significant part of this feeling arises from the fact that, on average, we spend around 4 hours a day on smartphones; it could even be more for some. That’s 28 hours out of those 30-60 hours of free time gone.

How to do it ?

If you limit your technology use in a day to 8 hours, for example, you will observe a significant change. While 8 hours is still a substantial amount of time, it’s not an overwhelming stretch and may be more manageable than you initially thought.

A helpful approach is to, for instance, refrain from using technology from the time you wake up at 6/7 am until 9/10 am.

You’ll discover that many productive tasks can be accomplished without technology. Whether it’s using pen and paper for work or engaging in physical activities, like working out. 

You will also notice increased focus when you eventually introduce technology around the 9/10 am mark.

As the time approaches 6-8 pm, you can once again limit your use of technology, which will lead to improvements in both your sleep quality and daily life.

These timeframes can be adjusted based on your sleep schedule and other factors; however, the underlying principle remains consistent.

Important Factors

When practising this approach, there are a few important factors you should bear in mind.

One of the most vital aspects is planning your day. You should establish specific times for your activities throughout the day, including designated times for breaks and when to start or stop using technology.

Another crucial element is becoming comfortable with boredom. As mentioned in previous blogs, it’s essential to recognize boredom as an emotion or sensation. Learn to sit with it without succumbing to dopamine-driven desires. There are numerous activities you can engage in that don’t rely on technology and can help alleviate boredom, such as reading books, learning a musical instrument, or pursuing other hobbies.

Given that technology is necessary for many important tasks, you might still need to use your phone for social plans, important calls, etc. When doing so, ensure you’re disciplined in your technology use. Use it for its intended purpose and then set it aside.

There will be exceptions to the avoidance of technology, but it’s important not to fall into the trap of using exceptions as excuses to overuse technology. Make sure to be strict with yourself.

 

Purpose

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Purpose

What is purpose and how to find it

Lack of Purpose

Today, more than ever, people are lost for purpose. For many, life seems like a tedious hamster wheel, with the same daily routines lacking a real sense of meaning.

It is no coincidence that this feeling has increased over the years alongside technological advancements. The more technology and external stimuli we have, the less connected we become with our internal selves, leading to this sense of meaninglessness and lack of purpose.

Things can also become more challenging when others attempt to impose a purpose or expectations on you. This is particularly common with overbearing parents who push their children towards professions like doctors or lawyers, for example. These individuals might follow the academic path, achieve the highest grades, and even become those things. However, this externally given purpose often leads to many internal questions and issues of unfulfillment.

Why We Lack Purpose

With the advancements in technology, our attention has become greatly externalized. If you think about how much of your day is taken up by reading something, listening to something, watching something, or scrolling through social media, etc.

It is quite uncommon now for people to not be engaged in any activity. There’s always something there to capture our attention.

You may even notice the times when your attention isn’t externalized, such as a walk without music or moments in the shower without technology – your thoughts will be very different from usual. Hence, the term “Shower Thoughts.”

When our attention is externalized, there is little room for internal purpose. People often make the mistake of trying to replicate societal or other people’s ideas of purpose, such as pursuing wealth, owning nice cars, seeking fame, or other similar things. In most cases, this approach will not succeed, as it does not align with your internal passion or purpose.

This is greatly exacerbated by social media, as people frequently portray images of happiness or success that others adopt as their own expectations.

How to regain purpose

When your attention has become mostly externalized, the key to finding purpose is to internalize it.

When we think, our thoughts are usually stimulated by our sensory organs. An alternative source to this is our memory or internal thoughts. We need to work on cultivating these thoughts that arise internally without external stimulation.

This can be challenging because, with internal thoughts, the first things that often emerge tend to be negative. This is evident when people lay awake at night trying to sleep and end up ruminating on negative aspects of their lives or having general negative thoughts.

To regain internal consciousness, external stimulation must be reduced. We shift our thoughts from being sensory-stimulated to being more internal. There are several ways to achieve this; some methods include walks, hiking, and meditation. However, there’s a crucial aspect to keep in mind.

Initially, when engaging in this process, you will encounter thoughts about many external things outside of yourself. Subsequently, you might go through a phase of extreme boredom and impulsive urges. This is because the external sensory inputs that we’ve become reliant on for stimulating thoughts are no longer there to keep our attention. The critical part here is to acknowledge this boredom but resist giving in to it.

Over time, these impulsive thoughts of boredom will begin to subside and slow down. Eventually, you’ll reach a point where they seem to quiet down and subdue. Internal values and thoughts will then become the primary driving force of your mind.

Once you discover these internal thoughts and values, you can align your “purpose” or “passion” with them. This approach allows you to understand your genuine desires rather than merely adopting other people’s ideas of purpose.

Self-Esteem

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Self-Esteem

How to develop a positive self esteem

What is Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is an internal value. When we internalise criticism or expectations and equate them with our value, our self-esteem becomes diminished. External outcomes start to determine our self-worth.

Often, when we experience outcomes, we instantly associate them with ourselves and our value. We attribute the outcome to be because of us.

For example, when someone gets rejected, think of how many conclusions they come to, and how they are all associated with the self.

The conclusions the mind comes up with are more often associated with the self/ego rather than objective conclusions. This leads to irrational conclusions that then become linked to our value and identity, therefore creating low self-esteem.

How to develop Self-Esteem

One way to develop self-esteem is ironically to cultivate it from other people. This means developing a circle of friends who treat you for who you are and your true value. Over time, by doing this, you begin to realize your self-worth through how they treat you.

To tackle low self-esteem internally, it is important to be more conscious about the way you judge yourself. Find where you came up with the standards for yourself and notice how different they are from the standards you set for other people.

Simply put, finding out what you believe about yourself at the core, identifying where it comes from, and then dismantling these negative beliefs is an extremely useful way to overcome low self-esteem. This can be done by journaling, meditating, or seeing a therapist.

Try to notice when you come to conclusions and associate things with yourself, then try to dismiss it or recognize the many other possibilities other than the one you attribute to your internal value.

This approach can also be applied to past situations where you have assumed something happened in a certain way because of you. For example, maybe you didn’t get rejected because “you are ugly, etc.,” but because that person was already in a relationship or a hundred other possibilities. Try not to blame yourself but recognize these things and work to develop a healthier perspective.

Summary

Recognise when there are external societal values and try not to associate them with identity. Do this for past situations and future ones working to avoid associating conclusions with your self-worth/identity.

Develop a circle of friends who treat you well for being you and not based on external vanity.

Try things such as journaling, meditation, therapy, etc., with the goal of finding and dismantling where negative conclusions about yourself come from.

Try not to associate everything with your ego (sense of self); it is not all about you, in a good way.

Rejection

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Rejection

How to handle rejection

Rejection

Usually, rejection hurts because it is something we are insecure about and stems from our self-beliefs. If you have a self-belief that you are ugly, then you will live by and act on this belief, even if you try to hide from it, it is subconsciously acted upon.

Part of the problem is not accepting what you are scared of being rejected for, even by yourself. For example, you may even blame yourself for being unable to handle rejection itself.

If you believe that you are likely to be rejected or worthy of rejection, it is much more likely that you will be extremely sensitive to rejection.

Our brains learn to adapt and perceive signs of rejection before they happen. This is the brain’s way of protecting us as it associates rejection with hurt. Over time, it can become overly sensitive, recognizing lots of small and often false signs of rejection.

How to tackle rejection sensitivity

People often say the only way to learn how to handle being rejected is to subject yourself to repeated rejection. This is partly true and can work; however, it is extremely difficult and scary for someone who has a problem with rejection.

One way to tackle this problem is to find where your rejection sensitivity comes from. You likely developed a belief that you are worthy of rejection at some time in your life, even through multiple events. This is something you can work on through meditation, with a therapist, or even journaling. When you address these insecurities, it helps improve your self-worth/value and, therefore, reduces the fear of rejection. These insecurities might be associated with looks, weight, confidence etc.

Most solutions focus on what to do in response to rejection; however, they fail to recognize the self-perception before the rejection.

It is essential to recognize that our perception has developed this fear and sensitivity to rejection over time, and we can also work to reverse that over time. To do this, it is key to notice the triggers of the fear as they come up; they can be small things, such as someone taking longer to reply to a text, for example. Instead of immediately associating it with rejection when it happens, notice that your mind will associate it with rejection, but recognize the other possibilities.

If someone doesn’t respond fast enough, how many possibilities are there that aren’t rejection? Why does your mind go straight to rejection? It is important to ask these questions when looking to overcome this sensitivity.

The best way to combat rejection sensitivity is a combination of these three things: work on immersing yourself and start by experiencing smaller amounts of rejection, work on looking at where your insecurities come from and processing them, and very importantly, recognize your perception when it comes to rejection. When you notice you’re perception is associating something with rejection ask yourself why and work to recognise the other possibilities. By doing this you can break the chain and greatly improve your fear of rejection.

Attachment/Detachment

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Attachment/Detachment

How to avoid suffering and gain detachment.

Suffering vs Pain

There is a difference between suffering and pain. Some things can cause you to experience pain without suffering, e.g. massages or exercise can be painful but fulfilling, not suffering.

Even mentally painful situations that evoke sadness can be without suffering, such as an expected mutual breakup. This is because over time the attachment to that person dwindles and becomes smaller.

However, if the breakup is unexpected, there is often a large amount of attachment still there, which leads to suffering. This is applicable to many situations such as deaths too. Usually, our response to the death of someone you are attached to (e.g. family/friends) is very different from the response to someone you barely know and are detached from. The root of suffering is attachment.

Without attachment, you may still experience pain in the form of some emotions but not suffering.

Detachment

In life, you cannot avoid negative emotions such as pain, grief, sadness, etc. They are a part of life. However, you can avoid suffering.

This is done via detachment—not detachment from reality, but from your expectations of the outcomes of your actions.

For example, there’s a difference between someone making a pitch at work and placing their focus on what they create and do in the pitch, compared to placing their focus on the expectation or outcome of the pitch.

If you are attached to a fantasy or an outcome, it will cause much more suffering if it’s not the outcome you hoped for. For instance, if you apply to a school and are rejected, it will cause much more suffering if you are attached to the idea of getting into that school.

If you are not attached, you can still have desires and be emotional or sad if things don’t go the way you wanted, but you won’t suffer. Attachment and expectation go hand in hand.

How to gain detachment

The key to cultivating detachment is to focus on your actions and decisions rather than the outcomes of those actions. This means focusing on practising the piano before a performance instead of focusing on the outcome of the performance.

It’s easy to become attached to ideas, which can give them power over your suffering. If you start to notice this tendency and move away from it, focusing more on the action itself, it will be immensely helpful.

However, do not mistake detachment for disregarding life, events, or emotions. There is a difference between apathy and detachment. Detachment does not mean that you don’t care or don’t feel about things happening in life; it simply means that you are not completely controlled and forced into suffering by them.

Feelings are still present and can be even more regulated and fulfilling when detached from specific ideas and outcomes. Detachment involves having fewer expectations of outcomes. This means that when you haven’t overly fixated on the idea of an outcome, and you still get it, the fulfilment is much greater.

Try paying attention to the moments when you are most happy/fulfilled; you could even write them down. Do the same with suffering. Try to recognize if there’s a relationship between the expectation/attachment to both of these feelings.