If you have read my previous posts on the comfort zone you will know I have been following the HeadGym process myself. I continued my journey and taking a step further I went to speak in Manchester. This was a new topic where I shared some of my personal experiences growing up, each time I step out of my comfort zone I make progress. I am using my comfort zone to work for me instead of limiting me it gets easier each time and feels great to be doing it.
Stepping out of your comfort zone is something that we can really use to make progress and overcome obstacles we may have had for years. We are all familiar with the fight, flight or freeze scenario, we may have physical feelings that accompany these situations. Hot sweats, stomach churn, headache etc what I am going to suggest turns this situation on its head.
Fight Flight or Freeze
When you get the feeling of FFF take note this is your mind/body telling you that there is an opportunity to make progress. Stop for a minute and think is there any danger? Are there any sabre tooth tigers about? 99.9% we are safe, and this is an opportunity. It will feel uncomfortable for a short while but once you have stepped out and Identify what is it that you want to pursue set your goals using the |HeadGym goals path, you can then use those goals to drive you and be inspired by what you want. It will be a lot easier to push yourself outside of your current comfort zone if you have set targets rather than pushing against fear for the sake of it.
- Move toward your fear.
If you feel fearful about something, then feel the fear and do it anyway. Your fear represents the things that lie outside of your comfort zone. Stepping into the emotion of fear you are literally expanding your comfort zone and therefore your progress.
- Do things you wouldn’t normally do every little thing you do that is different from your usual routine is a step outside of your comfort zone. Do small things first remember step by step is the way forward Take a different route to work. Try a different meal from your usual. Speak to somebody whom you normally would not talk to, all the small things add up.
- Accept the discomfort. Learn to be okay with being uncomfortable to accept the uncomfortable. Whenever you feel uncomfortable know it’s a good thing because it means that progress is available don’t resist that feeling of discomfort embrace it.
- Do new things. Make a point to do something new every week. It can be as simple as reading a new book, trying a new recipe, speaking to somebody new to be open to doing different things, if they fall within your personal agenda and are not life-threatening.
- Take the challenge Life is supposed to be challenging. There will be ups and there will be downs which are sometimes unavoidable or even self-imposed. These moments may not feel good, but they do help you to grow and make progress. Once you are through the challenge you will improve at what you do. Acceptance that life is meant to be a challenge is something to work on say “yes” more often.
It may be counterintuitive but the best place to start with improving relationships is to start with yourself that is why it is at number 1 on the list. Below are a few things you can do to help you on your way to making some positive changes.
- Be your best friend. Learning to love and accept yourself will create positive energy around you and you will feel happier all- around.
- Set relationship targets. Set yourself some relationship targets do this together, with your partner a friend, children or colleagues this way you are working towards the same end. This will help with clarity and communication which is often the problem or major obstacle in relationships.
- Put effort into your relationships People matter the most.
- See the good Give people the benefit of doubt make this a practice, you’ll be happier. You won’t question people as much or be so judgmental.
- Have family Discussions. Discuss with your family and as a family how things are going include everyone in this you can discuss personal goals, financial goals or anything else. It’s good to have time to catch up with each other.
- Connect. Stay connected to the people important to you, make an effort to stay in touch, even if you have to diarise to do it. Call one person you care about every day or arrange to meet those important to you on a regular basis. Over time, you’ll stay in touch with everyone.
- Don’t blame. Take ownership and take action. If you feel like your situation is someone else’s fault and constantly look to blame others, you’ll never change it.
- Disagree productively. Arguing or disagreements are part of any healthy relationship. Learn how to do it constructively and respectfully. No name calling, screaming or shouting.
- Say sorry and mean it. Don’t use “ifs” or slip into blaming in your apologies own your apology and take responsibility for your actions.
- Don’t put anyone down. This is one of the worst things you can do. It’s disrespectful and harms any relationship especially if it is done in public.
- Stop negative thoughts about other people when you begin to think about them. This practice can become a habit, and when it does, you’ll get out of a negative mindset. You’ll be happier and less judgmental, too.
- Spend quality time with your kids. They need your time.
- Prioritise your family. Any regrets at the end life will not be about work or money they will be about people make them your priority.
- Don’t try For all of the above trying is not enough you have to do, make a decision and take action eliminate to try from your vocabulary.