Self-Acceptance
When to change and when to accept who you are
Accepting vs Changing
Acceptance does not mean that you should not change or that you are perfect how you are. Acceptance is the first step of change. If an alcoholic wants to recover the first step is accepting they are an alcoholic. Likewise, if you are obese acceptance does not mean to accept that you are obese and not change, saying that “it is who you are”. We are ever-changing and constantly improving.
Accepting the Past
The most important part of self-acceptance is accepting the past. The version of you today is not the same person who made mistakes in the past. If you failed in school a year ago that is not the same you as now. You shouldn’t blame yourself for being fat because of what you did in the past but acknowledge you didn’t know what you know now. You now have the opportunity in the present to accept who you are and improve yourself. Mistakes are going to be made constantly throughout life you can not grow without them. You are not born knowing everything so that you can avoid mistakes you are born to make mistakes and learn from them bettering the future you not holding on to the old version of you who made those mistakes.
This is an important aspect of self-compassion. Understand that you didn’t know any better in the past but now you do and that is part of life, to grow. Accept that you made a mistake and learn from it, change. You weren’t perfect then, mistakes were unavoidable and just as you weren’t perfect then you aren’t perfect now.
Changing
Every version of your past, present and future is going to have faults and mistakes will be made. There is no perfect human being. However, when you encounter these faults and mistakes you have the opportunity to change and fix them. Grow to become a better, healthier and happier person. You don’t need to beat yourself up over them but acknowledge you now have a clear opportunity to learn and grow. This goes with growth mindset you have to notice that a obstacle is not a failure but a chance to understand through experience and learn.
