Perfectionism
Perfectionism, Procrastination and how to overcome it.
Procrastination
Procrastination is often a symptom of perfectionism. You can’t begin your task unless you know it will be perfect. You want an idea or plan of the task that will be perfect, an impossible goal which leads to inaction. Procrastination in this case comes from the desire for perfection.
Often, with people in this situation, the only thing that leads to action is external pressure. This could be deadlines, pressure to pay bills, or pressure from bosses or teachers. Panic or fear is the motivating feeling that overcomes procrastination in this situation. This is a difficult way to function, ironically leading to results far from perfect.
Often with people in this situation, the only thing that leads to action is external pressure. This could be deadlines, pressure to pay bills, or pressure from bosses or teachers. Panic or fear is the motivating feeling that overcomes procrastination in this situation. This is a difficult way to function, ironically leading to results far from perfect.
Performance equals Value
Perfectionism, in some cases, comes from an internal feeling that performance correlates with our value as a person.
It stems from experiences where your feelings and general situation seem to improve correlating with your performance. This could come from peers, parents, teachers, or a number of external sources.
If how peers treated you was based on your performance, then you have a desire to be perfect every time as you’ve equated it to your value as a person. If you see people are kind and smiling when you perform well but are neutral if you perform just okay, then you correlate how you’re treated and your worth to performance.
This is one possibility for the cause of perfectionism.
Striving for control
Another cause could be the feelings and results associated with imperfect outcomes. When something happens in a way that is not exactly how you want or imagined it, the way you feel and respond is too painful for anything other than perfection.
Examples of this include rejection or failure. You could have asked someone out or created a business proposition, and the rejection hurt so much that you develop the idea to achieve perfection from here on so that you never have to experience that pain. It could also be feelings of jealousy or envy when you see someone else doing better than you.
The idea is that if you can come up with the perfect strategy, you can achieve the desired result and have control over it. You attempt to protect yourself from the hurt and negative emotions associated with anything other than perfection.
This can cause procrastination by evoking those feelings whenever you get started on a task. You start, and it’s not perfect, so you experience the fear of those possibilities and feelings of jealousy, rejection, etc., and procrastinate instead.
Overcoming Procrastination
When you start to get the feeling of procrastination, you will most likely respond in two ways. One is pushing through it anyway and being unsatisfied and unhappy with your imperfect results. The second is not doing the work, procrastinating, and then being unhappy and unsatisfied that you did nothing at all.
In both these situations, rather than tackling procrastination, you are acting based on your negative feelings of guilt, unhappiness, inadequacy, etc. This leads to a dependency on negative feelings to overcome procrastination. Neither outcome is desirable and leads to more negative feelings.
Instead of avoiding the work or forcing yourself to do it when procrastination arises, just sit with it. Sit with the feeling, but don’t force either of the two outcomes.
When you notice these negative feelings arise, of frustration or fear, just sit with them and move away from them rather than acting on them. Try this for just 5 minutes. You will notice your mind will try to convince you that you’re wasting time and not being productive, but avoid acting on this and just sit and be still.
By doing this, you are training your mind not to be controlled by the negative emotions associated with perfectionism and procrastination. Instead, you are learning to tolerate these emotions and watch them without acting on them.
Regarding the second cause of perfectionism, it is important to acknowledge that your task is to do the work or task in front of you, not to focus on the conditions afterwards of how people receive it and react to it. Your job is only to complete the task, not to make people happy or control their reactions afterwards. Try your best to separate you doing your task from the reactions that come as a result of it
