Rejection
How to handle rejection
Rejection
Usually, rejection hurts because it is something we are insecure about and stems from our self-beliefs. If you have a self-belief that you are ugly, then you will live by and act on this belief, even if you try to hide from it, it is subconsciously acted upon.
Part of the problem is not accepting what you are scared of being rejected for, even by yourself. For example, you may even blame yourself for being unable to handle rejection itself.
If you believe that you are likely to be rejected or worthy of rejection, it is much more likely that you will be extremely sensitive to rejection.
Our brains learn to adapt and perceive signs of rejection before they happen. This is the brain’s way of protecting us as it associates rejection with hurt. Over time, it can become overly sensitive, recognizing lots of small and often false signs of rejection.
How to tackle rejection sensitivity
People often say the only way to learn how to handle being rejected is to subject yourself to repeated rejection. This is partly true and can work; however, it is extremely difficult and scary for someone who has a problem with rejection.
One way to tackle this problem is to find where your rejection sensitivity comes from. You likely developed a belief that you are worthy of rejection at some time in your life, even through multiple events. This is something you can work on through meditation, with a therapist, or even journaling. When you address these insecurities, it helps improve your self-worth/value and, therefore, reduces the fear of rejection. These insecurities might be associated with looks, weight, confidence etc.
Most solutions focus on what to do in response to rejection; however, they fail to recognize the self-perception before the rejection.
It is essential to recognize that our perception has developed this fear and sensitivity to rejection over time, and we can also work to reverse that over time. To do this, it is key to notice the triggers of the fear as they come up; they can be small things, such as someone taking longer to reply to a text, for example. Instead of immediately associating it with rejection when it happens, notice that your mind will associate it with rejection, but recognize the other possibilities.
If someone doesn’t respond fast enough, how many possibilities are there that aren’t rejection? Why does your mind go straight to rejection? It is important to ask these questions when looking to overcome this sensitivity.
The best way to combat rejection sensitivity is a combination of these three things: work on immersing yourself and start by experiencing smaller amounts of rejection, work on looking at where your insecurities come from and processing them, and very importantly, recognize your perception when it comes to rejection. When you notice you’re perception is associating something with rejection ask yourself why and work to recognise the other possibilities. By doing this you can break the chain and greatly improve your fear of rejection.