Falling Behind
How to catch up if you feel you’ve fallen behind.
Is it too late?
Whether you didn’t get the best grades in school or just generally didn’t seem to find a path as early as those you compare yourself to, it is very easy to feel as if it’s too late, and that you’ve missed the boat.
This is completely false.
Biologically, in children, there is a phenomenon called catch-up growth. This is where, after a period of growth inhibition, a fairly rapid increase in growth is observed, in order to catch up to where they would be without inhibition. Although this isn’t the same as catching up in society it displays that we are biologically built with the ability to rapidly catch up. There are also studies that show this concept works with neuroplasticity in attachment and behavioural issues. In short it is never too late to catch up and there is no boat you have missed.
Below is a graph from a study, displaying this rapid catch-up in growth with children.
How to Catch up
As we take small steps to improve or catch up, it may seem as if all our attempts are futile. This may be due to the fact that growth is mainly seen in the most difficult or strenuous steps forward. It is usually in the last short and most difficult steps that we find the most growth.
Most people, when attempting growth, will take steps that get them far but not all the way to those last steps of immense growth. This is because alone, it is incredibly difficult to get there.
While it is possible to be done alone, the best way to achieve this last step of exponential growth is to seek help. Whether through psychotherapy, coaching, or other examples less clinical, such as a friend that supports you in an area of your life, just something like an hour a week would prove immensely useful in that last stage where you will begin to see exponential growth. While you probably don’t need help with 90%, that 10% where things are incredibly difficult, some help will make it that bit easier.
What to look out for
Sometimes, our environment can play a large part in what’s holding us back. For example, this could be a friend group that is lazy or ambitionless. The more you are surrounded by them, the more likely you will follow that same path.
Finding environments that support your ambitions or goals is a beneficial step in the right direction.
This includes physical environments too. If you watch Netflix or play video games in the same space where you work, it is going to make it much more difficult. Even if it’s a different desk or room, or at a library or coffee shop, it will provide a very useful shift of mind.
Obstacles
When attempting to catch up, your mind will create many obstacles. This includes statements like ‘It’s not enough’ when you are trying to take steps in the right direction.
This is emotion; your mind will create lots of reasons for you to not take action under the disguise of logic. It is purely your emotions of fear, shame, etc. If you have shame, subconsciously, you believe that even if you try, you will fail.
Your mind acts under the narrative that there is no point in putting in effort if you will fail anyway. It does so under the same logic that you wouldn’t spend thousands on a product worth nothing. Your mind convinces you that you shouldn’t expend so much effort on failure.
To combat this, try to notice the emotion underneath these statements in your mind. Particularly ‘I,’ ‘Me,’ ‘Mine’ statements will have this emotion under the surface. Notice them, acknowledge what your mind is trying to do, and recognize what is truly best for you.
This is a very important takeaway as if we let these ego based statements our mind creates control us then it is what we will become.
Sources: https://academic.oup.com/edrv/article/18/5/646/2530771